I recently heard a friend say that his kid was the best thing to ever ruin his life. Has this thought ever plagued you? You love your children, of course, but they sure do a great job of putting a damper on your old life.
The big question is: How do you maintain some semblance of your life after kids?
As a newlywed, one of the first pieces of advice people give me is to wait to have kids. As much as I love kids and cannot wait to have one, I am more than happy to use the first five years of our marriage to learn to be a married couple and have fun. That way, when we are ready, we won’t feel cheated out of any time together.
It is possible to retain part of your “old life” once you have kids. One idea is to plan a specific “date night” on a regular basis. Finding time for just you and your spouse to go out and do something that you love to do is a good way to help you feel like you’re dating again. Now, you may be saying “Sure, a date sounds nice, but what are we supposed to do with this kid that we’re trying to escape for the night?”
A good way to solve this is to trade babysitting nights with another couple that has kids. One night you and your spouse get a date night while your couple friends watch your child. Then another night, you return the favor. A simple way to take a break from the madness that is parenting.
Go in peace, have children, love your children, and give yourself a break from your children.